Navigating parenthood and life!
As parents, we often find ourselves getting through the day on the brink of exhaustion with maybe a little bit of joy (that’s a glass of wine or an uninterrupted bath that lasts longer than 3 mins!) Most days, we make it through only to relive the whole thing again the next day. But then there are weeks like this—weeks that leave us feeling like emotional wrecks, teetering on the edge of our sanity.
You may have noticed I have not posted my monthly blog since March and this was because I just had too much on my plate. I had to reassess and make some big changes! From changing the number of days I work, to asking my friends for support and most recently I am now adapting to a new phrase I learnt last week – I am a sandwich caregiver. For those of you who also don’t know what this is – I am an adult child caring for my ageing parents. And with this comes change for them, adapting how they live in their home and the acceptance of help. Which is not always so easy.
But as I am also a ‘caregiver’ to my three children, I try to practice gentle parenting daily, to approach each situation with patience and understanding. Ha! I hear you laugh. But they have really tested me this month, when they are screaming at each other or me, I find myself shouting back! And I don’t want to become a shouty family and for this to become the norm. So this month there has been lots of chats about how we should talk to each other, stop the ‘back chat’ and just be kinder to one another. The last few weeks I have just been going through the motions and through the midst of overwhelm and exhaustion I have had to prioritise time for me to think, rest and re-strategize.
Therapy has offered me a lifeline, a safe space to unpack the weight of my emotions and struggles. And as a coach– I too have my own coach to help me when I am breaking point. She helps me understand what ALL the options are available to me by asking those important questions and challenging me. We don’t have to just continue on the way have been because this is what we have been doing! But amidst the ups and downs, there is hope. As a coach, I've learned valuable strategies to navigate the choppy waters of parenthood with these tools.
Prioritize self-care: It's easy to put our own needs on the back burner when caring for little ones, but prioritizing self-care is crucial for maintaining our emotional well-being. Even small acts, like stealing a few moments alone with a cup of tea or taking a short walk around the block, can make a world of difference.
Lean on your community: I am lucky to have such a good friend’s support system but the last few months I have been faced with putting the house up for sale and thoughts of relocating to god knows where! What happens when you have to start a new? True friends will obviously be part of my life but I have been thinking about how to find other ways of support. So I have joined some Facebook groups with topics that interest me and have started researching some online platforms.
Embrace imperfection: Parenthood is messy and imperfect by nature, and that's okay. I have had to learn to let go of the pressure to be the perfect parent and give myself grace in moments of struggle. I can remember with my first child and second child how important it was me for them to eat all their dinner and have wholesome meals with vegetables. Now with my third, he won’t eat any hot meals and this has been going on since January. Now a single parent- I have learned to let this go. He will eat when he is hungry – job done.
Seek professional help: While access to therapy may be limited, there are still resources available for parents struggling with mental health challenges. Online therapy platforms, support groups, and hotlines can offer support and guidance when traditional avenues are out of reach.
Celebrate small victories: In the midst of exhaustion and overwhelm, it's easy to overlook the small moments of joy and triumph. Take time to celebrate the victories, no matter how small—they are reminders that you are resilient and capable, even on the hardest days.
Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and struggles. And while there may be days when exhaustion threatens to consume us, there is also strength in knowing that we are not alone. Together, we can weather the storms of parenthood and emerge stronger, more resilient, and more deeply connected to the ones we love. If you are struggling dont hesitate to reach out to me.