Let’s talk Mental Health & Parenting
As World Mental Health Day approaches on the 10th of October, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the relationship between mental health and parenting. As busy parents, we often overlook our own mental well-being, focusing instead on the ever-growing to-do lists and the increasing demands of our children. There are days when I collapse into bed, exhausted, only to wonder: What could I have done differently? What could I have taken off my plate to ease my stress?
There's a silent struggle many of us parents go through—one we don't often talk about. It's almost as if we've accepted that this is just how parenthood is supposed to be. But here's the truth: if we don't take care of ourselves, how can we truly take care of our little ones? It's time to break that silence and have an honest conversation about the challenges of mental health in parenthood. Trust me, you're not alone.
Acknowledging the Challenge
Let's start by acknowledging the reality: being a parent is hard. Really hard. From sleepless nights to the constant worrying, the weight of parenthood can take a serious toll on our mental health. And it's okay to admit that you're struggling. In fact, it's not just okay—it's necessary.
So why don't we talk about it more? One reason is the stigma that still surrounds mental health. It often feels like there's this unspoken expectation for us to have it all together all the time. But the truth is, nobody does—not even those Instagram-perfect mums with their picture-perfect lives.
Recognizing the Signs
Mental health, like physical health, has its ups and downs. Some days are better than others, and that's normal. The key is to recognize when you're having a tough day. Personally, I use the "traffic light" system to help me gauge my mental state:
Green: I'm having a good day—I'm full of energy, my plans feel achievable, and I'm getting things done.
Amber: I’m feeling a little ‘meh.’ I take a few things off my to-do list, and that's okay—they'll get done another day.
Red: I have no energy or mental capacity. Everything comes off my list, and I focus on self-care so I can rest and recharge for tomorrow.
It’s so important to be kind to ourselves on those "red" days. By recognizing when we’re struggling, we can take steps to nurture our well-being.
Find Your Support Network
Another essential part of maintaining mental health as a parent is finding "your people"—those you can talk to and lean on when things get tough. Chances are, they’ve been through similar challenges and can help validate your feelings. You are not alone.
Let’s start breaking down the barriers and open up about our struggles. Whether it's anxiety, depression, or just feeling overwhelmed, we need to let it out and rely on each other for support. Talking about it is the first step toward getting the help we need.
Communicate with Your Partner
If you have a partner, they may not always fully understand what you're going through, but that doesn't mean they can't be there for you. It’s crucial to have those tough conversations and let them know when you need a little extra support. Communication can help lighten the load.
Build in Small Habits for Change
Change doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Sometimes, it’s about building small habits that make a difference. Whether it’s taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or curling up with a good book, self-care is crucial for our mental health. We need to make it a priority and give ourselves the love and care we deserve.
Breaking the Taboo
In conclusion, let’s break the taboo around mental health in parenthood. Let’s open up, support each other, and prioritize our well-being. Together, we are stronger, and together, we can overcome the challenges we face as parents.
If you’re struggling, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I’ve been at rock bottom and have worked my way back up. It takes conscious effort to continue being the best parent I can be while staying true to myself. I’m fortunate to now be in a position where I can help other parents navigate tough times.
If you need someone to talk to, there are mental health and parenting support services available:
Crisis Hotline: 0808 115 1505
NHS Mental Health: 0800 328 4444
Samaritans: 116 123
Young Minds: 0808 802 5544
Remember, you’re not alone in this. Let's keep the conversation going. 💪