Parental burnout - It’s a thing!
As a mother of three who has suffered with parental burnout and come out the other side, I want to share my story and insights in the hope that it might resonate with others facing similar challenges. Parenting is an extraordinary adventure, but it can also be a journey into the unknown, with unexpected twists and turns that can leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed.
What is Parental Burnout?
Parental burnout is not a myth or a sign of incompetence; it's a harsh reality that many of us face at some point on this demanding journey. It's that feeling of being emotionally and physically drained, of giving so much of yourself that you're left with a hollow echo of the person you used to be. It's waking up in the morning and wondering how you're going to summon the energy to face another day of seemingly endless responsibilities.
Causes of Parental Burnout
Understanding what leads to parental burnout is crucial in breaking free from its suffocating grip. For me, I suffered with parental burnout after my partner left and it was a combination of this emotional breakdown, not knowing what the future holds, managing three small children and still breastfeeding my youngest at 6 months old that led me to this. I had no idea at the time what parental burnout was or in fact that I was going through it. It is only now that I have done the work on myself and had time to reflect that I can see how bad it was. If you are up to your neck with relentless schedules, societal expectations, and the self-imposed pressure to be the "perfect" mum, then your parental wellbeing could be suffering. Trying to live up to unrealistic standards, I found myself neglecting my own needs, convinced that my children and family came first. The constant juggling act between work, family, and personal life left me feeling like I was on the brink of collapse.
The isolation that can accompany parenting also played a significant role. When you're immersed in the daily grind, it's easy to lose touch with friends and family, compounding the sense of loneliness. The lack of a support network can exacerbate the feelings of overwhelm, making it even more challenging to ask for help.
Breaking Free: How to Help Parental Burnout
Recovering from parental burnout is a process, and it starts with acknowledging that it's okay to prioritize your well-being. Here are some steps that helped me regain my balance:
Self-Reflection: Take a moment to reflect on your current state. The Parental Burnout Assessment Quiz (link) can be a useful tool for this. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to feel vulnerable.
Seek Support: You are not alone in this journey. Connect with friends, family, or support groups. Share your struggles and allow others to share theirs. The power of solidarity is immense.
Set Realistic Expectations: Accept that you can't do it all, and that's perfectly okay. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your family. It's not about perfection; it's about finding a balance that works for everyone.
Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Carve out time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's a quiet moment with a book or a brisk walk in the fresh air, prioritize self-care without guilt.
Communicate with Your Partner: Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial. Share your feelings, discuss responsibilities, and work together to create a more balanced and supportive environment.
Parental burnout is a formidable opponent, but it's one that can be overcome with time, self-reflection, and support. As a mother who has been there, I can attest that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Embrace the journey toward healing, and remember that taking care of yourself is not only a gift to you but to your entire family. Together, we can break the silence surrounding parental burnout and create a community of support for all parents navigating this challenging path.