Setting goals and rocking life!

This month let's talk about something super important: setting goals each month. I know, I know, life is already soooo busy with three kids, working 4 days a week and a business in the making. But trust me, taking a breather to reflect and set goals is like giving yourself a superpower boost.

So how do I do it? At the end of each month I schedule in my diary to review and reflect on last month’s goals and set the next months.  You can get my FREE goals worksheet on my resources page on my website.  I have 5 areas of focus which is a good number, any more than that you might find too many things not completed. My areas of focus are:

Personal Growth:

Alright, take a few minutes to think about you. Yep, YOU! Amidst all the chaos, it's easy to forget about your own growth and happiness. Take a sec to think about what makes you tick. Got any hobbies you've been dying to try? Want to sneak in some self-care time? By nurturing your own personal growth, you set a great example for your kids and keep your sanity intact.

Health & Wellbeing:

Now, let's chat about how you are feeling physically and mentally.  It's easy to put self-care on the back burner, but your health is seriously important. Think about your eating habits, exercise routine (or lack thereof), and stress levels. Maybe it's time to cut back on the wine, hit the yoga mat, or just chill with some deep breaths. Your body and mind will thank you, trust me.

Career Development:

Balancing work and managing the household isn’t easy, so make sure you ask for help. Let’s take a sec to think about where you want to go next in your career. Any new skills you want to learn? Or maybe you fancy a change? As a Wellbeing Manager I am always working towards my yearly objectives, as a Life Coach I have my vision and working towards it every day. Setting some career goals each month keeps you hustling' towards success.

Financial Management:

Money talk, anyone? Managing finances solo can be a headache, especially when you're juggling kids and a business. Or perhaps you don’t look at your bank statement and just hope for the best! (we have all been there). But being in control of your finances and creating a budget allows you to work out how to reach your financial goals. Whether it's saving up for a rainy day or investing in your business, taking control of your finances is key.  I use this FREE budget tool and check it quarterly against my bank statement.

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/everyday-money/budgeting/budget-planner

Family:

Last but definitely not least, let's talk family. Your kids are your world, right? Take a sec to think about how things are going on the home front. Want to plan more fun outings? Have heart-to-hearts with your little ones? Setting some family goals keeps everyone connected and happy.  I make sure that I get at least 10 minutes one to one with each child a day, getting down on their level and doing an activity with no distractions.

 The Importance of Reflection and Goal Setting:

So, why bother with all this goal-setting stuff? Well, it's all about taking care of YOU. The days/weeks go by so quick, reflection gives you a chance to catch your breath and pat yourself on the back for all you've accomplished. And setting goals? That's like giving yourself a roadmap to success. Plus, it sets an awesome example for your kids – showing them that with a little grit and determination, anything is possible.

Alright, you've got this! Take some time each month to reflect, set those goals, and watch yourself slay at life. Remember, you're not just a parent – you're a superhero in disguise. Keep rocking it, one month at a time!

Parental Burnout - The Workshop

As I sit down to reflect on hosting my first workshop on Parental Burnout, I'm filled with a deep sense of gratitude and fulfillment. The event, held at Belle Juin Cafe in Leytonstone on Sunday, January 21st, was not just a gathering of parents seeking soutions to the challenges of modern parenting; it was a testament to the power of community and the resilience of the human spirit.

A survey from 2023 by Unicef found that 82% of UK parents are experiencing symptoms of burnout from parenting, 60% don’t routinely do anything to relax and recharge, 36% feel unsupported and 30% feel lonely some of the time. These statistics are high but yet I dont hear many people talking about parental burnout…

Drawing on my own journey as a mother of three and my qualifications as a Life Coach, I embarked on a mission to shed light on the often overlooked issue of Parental Burnout. With each passing day, as we navigate the relentless demands of work, household chores, and the well-being of our children, it's easy to lose sight of our own needs and struggles. There is no right or wrong way of parenting and what works for one person may not work for another. But was refreshing to hear was that we all have different struggles and no ones life is perfect, despite how we may look on the school run!

The workshop was more than just me creating an awareness about this topic; it was a safe space for parents to come together, share their stories, and realise that they were not alone in their struggles. The atmosphere of open dialogue and mutual support fostered a sense of solidarity that was palpable throughout the event.

Throughout the session, we delved deep into the complexities of Parental Burnout, exploring its various facets and offering practical strategies to alleviate stress and prioritise self-care. From mindfulness techniques to boundary-setting exercises, attendees were equipped with a toolbox of resources to implement in their daily lives.

But perhaps the most rewarding aspect of the workshop was witnessing parents sharing their stories and connecting with one another on a deeper level. It was a reminder that, despite the challenges we face, we are capable of overcoming adversity and thriving as parents and coming together. This is why I will be holding another workshop on Sunday 24th March.

Parental Burnout Workshop

Sunday 24th Mar 7pm-8.30pm Belle Juin Cafe, Cann Hall Park, Leytonstone

Book here

Group size 10 people max.

The Vital Role of Self-Care in Parenting

Parenting is a rewarding yet demanding journey that requires a significant amount of time, energy, and emotional investment. As parents, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, often neglecting the crucial aspect of self-care. In this blog post, we'll explore why self-care is paramount for parents and provide practical examples of small changes you can incorporate into your routine to prevent parental burnout.

The Importance of Self-Care in Parenting:

Parental burnout is a real and challenging issue that can have negative effects on both parents and children. When parents neglect their own well-being, it becomes increasingly difficult to provide the love, patience, and support that children need. Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; instead, it is a fundamental component of effective parenting. These are my 7 tips to help promote self care when your are a busy parent keeping all those balls in the air.

1. Physical Well-Being: Taking care of your physical health is essential for maintaining the stamina required in parenting. Ensure you get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and engage in regular physical activity. Even a short daily walk or a few minutes of stretching can make a significant difference in your overall well-being.

2. Emotional Well-Being: Parenthood comes with a myriad of emotions, from joy and fulfillment to stress and frustration. It's crucial to acknowledge and manage these emotions constructively. Consider practicing mindfulness or meditation to center yourself emotionally. Journaling is another effective way to express and reflect on your feelings.

3. Social Connections: Maintaining a support network is vital for parents. Seek support, connect with friends, family, or find support groups. I feel I have been extremely lucky living in my community and having connections with other mums and dads. This is what saved me. It is important to communicate to your people and tell them how you are feeling. It’s ok to ask for help and we need to get into the habit of sharing the load.

4. Hobbies and Interests: Rediscover or explore hobbies and interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it's reading, painting, gardening, or any other activity, carving out time for yourself and your passions can recharge your mental and emotional batteries.

5. Effective Time Management: Parenting often involves juggling multiple tasks and responsibilities. Implementing effective time management strategies can help alleviate stress. Prioritize tasks, delegate when possible, and be realistic about what you can accomplish in a given day.

6. Setting Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary and set realistic boundaries to prevent overextending yourself. Establishing limits on work commitments, social obligations, and even certain parenting responsibilities can help create a healthier balance in your life.

7. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Parenting is challenging, and everyone has their moments of struggle. Instead of being overly critical, practice self-compassion and acknowledge that you're doing your best. This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in times of difficulty or struggle. What advice would you give to a friend going through the same thing and give yourself that same advice. Other ways to do this are meditation and breath work. Making small changes like working out what your positive self mantra is and practicing it daily or practicing gratitude at the end of the day. This last one is a good one to do with the kids too at bedtime.

In the chaotic world of parenting, self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. By making small, intentional changes to prioritize your well-being, you can prevent parental burnout and, in turn, be better equipped to provide the love and support your children need. Remember, a well-nurtured parent is better positioned to nurture their child. So, embrace self-care as an integral part of your parenting journey and watch the positive impact it has on both you and your family.

Parental Burnout - - it’s a thing!

As a mother of three who has suffered with parental burnout and come out the other side, I want to share my story and insights in the hope that it might resonate with others facing similar challenges. Parenting is an extraordinary adventure, but it can also be a journey into the unknown, with unexpected twists and turns that can leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed.

What is Parental Burnout?

Parental burnout is not a myth or a sign of incompetence; it's a harsh reality that many of us face at some point on this demanding journey. It's that feeling of being emotionally and physically drained, of giving so much of yourself that you're left with a hollow echo of the person you used to be. It's waking up in the morning and wondering how you're going to summon the energy to face another day of seemingly endless responsibilities.

 Causes of Parental Burnout

Understanding what leads to parental burnout is crucial in breaking free from its suffocating grip. For me, I suffered with parental burnout after my partner left and it was a combination of this emotional breakdown, not knowing what the future holds, managing three small children and still breastfeeding my youngest at 6 months old that led me to this.  I had no idea at the time what parental burnout was or in fact that I was going through it.  It is only now that I have done the work on myself and had time to reflect that I can see how bad it was.  If you are up to your neck with relentless schedules, societal expectations, and the self-imposed pressure to be the "perfect" mum, then your parental wellbeing could be suffering.  Trying to live up to unrealistic standards, I found myself neglecting my own needs, convinced that my children and family came first. The constant juggling act between work, family, and personal life left me feeling like I was on the brink of collapse.

The isolation that can accompany parenting also played a significant role. When you're immersed in the daily grind, it's easy to lose touch with friends and family, compounding the sense of loneliness. The lack of a support network can exacerbate the feelings of overwhelm, making it even more challenging to ask for help.

Breaking Free: How to Help Parental Burnout

Recovering from parental burnout is a process, and it starts with acknowledging that it's okay to prioritize your well-being. Here are some steps that helped me regain my balance:

Self-Reflection: Take a moment to reflect on your current state. The Parental Burnout Assessment Quiz (link) can be a useful tool for this. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to feel vulnerable.

Seek Support: You are not alone in this journey. Connect with friends, family, or support groups. Share your struggles and allow others to share theirs. The power of solidarity is immense.

Set Realistic Expectations: Accept that you can't do it all, and that's perfectly okay. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your family. It's not about perfection; it's about finding a balance that works for everyone.

Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Carve out time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's a quiet moment with a book or a brisk walk in the fresh air, prioritize self-care without guilt.

Communicate with Your Partner: Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial. Share your feelings, discuss responsibilities, and work together to create a more balanced and supportive environment.

Parental burnout is a formidable opponent, but it's one that can be overcome with time, self-reflection, and support. As a mother who has been there, I can attest that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Embrace the journey toward healing, and remember that taking care of yourself is not only a gift to you but to your entire family. Together, we can break the silence surrounding parental burnout and create a community of support for all parents navigating this challenging path.

Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem after a Breakup

Life often takes unexpected turns, and one of the most challenging detours can be a separation or divorce. As a mother of three who has navigated the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup and emerged stronger on the other side, I understand the toll it can take on self-esteem. In this blog, we'll explore practical and heartfelt strategies to help fellow mums rebuild their confidence and rediscover their worth after going through a separation.

Here are a few tips that I found helpful and hopefully you will too.  If you need more support – check out my 12 week signature programme ‘Breakup to breakthrough’.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself.  If you make a mistake or snap at the kids, remember you are going through a lot right now and things will get better.  You have to understand that there is healing is a process, and takes time. If you catch yourself giving yourself a hard time or feeling like you are under performing as a mother, think - what advice would you give to a friend if she told you same story – give yourself a break.

Positive Affirmations: Separation can trigger a barrage of negative thoughts and self-doubt. It can be really difficult to change your mindset as it is such an emotional time and there is a grieving process that you have to go through until you reach the stage of forgiveness. But challenging these thoughts and replacing them with positive affirmations can help you remember your worth. Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and the love and support you can offer to your children. Affirmations are positive statements that are repeated regularly to promote boost self-esteem.  You might be feeling sad, angry, confused but this break up is not going to define you.  Work out what your mantra is and practice it daily or have it stuck to the fridge.

Set Achievable Goals: Sometimes when you are at rock bottom the only way is up! Start with small, achievable goals and gradually work your way up to larger ones. Each accomplishment boosts your confidence and self-esteem. It sounds so easy doesn’t it - setting some goals and working out what you want, but it took me a while to do this as I was always putting everyone else’s needs before my own. I still remember the pivotal moment when I was asked to write down my needs and wants from a relationship and then realised that wasn’t getting hardly any of them! So actually who was better off???

Engage in Self-Discovery: View the separation as an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on the lessons learned from the relationship and use them to become a stronger, wiser version of yourself. Embracing personal development fosters resilience and enhances self-esteem. Once I passed my Diploma in counselling - I felt like superwoman! I was so empowered and excited to rediscover the new me, I could not wait to take on the next challenge. Reconnect with your values, wants and needs. Once you are clear on what is important to you, you can start to work out your roadmap of how to achieve it.  Rediscovering what you love can reignite your sense of self and is closely linked to your wellbeing.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Find your people, family & friends that can support you.  And find new people too.  You are not alone, so don’t be afraid to reach out and make the first step. Us parents have to stick together, we are all in this together. Don’t be afraid to tell someone how bad it is at the baby group or in the park at the weekend. We have all had bad days and sharing your story can create connections and friendships.

Engage in Self-Care:  This is so important and you won’t feel like doing this until you have come through the anger or sadness stage.  For me my vice was smoking 20 roll ups a day!  But as my emotions and my mind calmed down with the help of coaching I was able to prioritize self-care activities that make me feel good about myself again. Now I know what works for me, so I schedule it in to my weekly routine. At home I do one fitness class a week where I give it my all and god I am so happy after that! And I now apply it to work making sure I get a 10 min break after every 60 mins of work. That could be a cup of tea, a chat to a colleague or a quick breath of fresh air. Let you brain have a bit of down time too.

Remember that rebuilding self-esteem is a gradual process, and it's normal to have ups and downs along the way. Be patient with yourself and stay committed to your self-improvement journey. Over time, you'll likely find that your self-esteem grows stronger, and you regain a sense of self-worth and confidence.